to those of you who know where this is from, i apologise.
but truly- the realest shit ever to come off that fucking board:

it hasn't all been done before. you know how i know? think about what music was like before the Beatles, before Metallica, before Dr. Dre, before every pioneering band that did something that people didn't even know was possible. who knew back in rthe 60s how gigantic an impact a simple group of boys singing love songs would have on the world? as much as I discredit Metallica's ability, they still made a huge wave in heavy music and it's still being felt to this day. Dr. Dre took Star Child and made Let Me Ride, who else would have thought of that? have you thought about how sick that beat is? and the bassline? what if dre had never done it?

what if I PUSH MIRACLE WHIPS had never done it? yeah people will laugh if you say straight out that you're going to change the world, but fuck, what does any of that even matter? people who can't be bothered to try and do anything 'meaningful' want to say that 'meaningful' is something for dreamers who end up working minimum wage? and the former becomes what? nothing less than the meaningless trinket of a human they idealize the 'real man' to be, yet unsatisfied. well shit

all i know is i have a really strong feeling about something, i don't even know what. it's making my stomach hurt and i'm scared of it being too much. too much what? idk. maybe it's still just traces of praranoia, maybe i'm getting ready to explode. i realize i've never looked up what makes a star go supernova or black hole, maybe it has to do with pressure or something

but yeah i'm really glad i'm being made to prioritize my thinking and to rationalize all of it, though. i already got the whole 'feeling' thing down better than most, and i'm pretty confident about that. so much so that it causes me physical pain to think of loving someone at the very moment, when nobody is there and I'm still torn apart by whether or not it's in my best interest to have love interests, or if i should just die alone for the sake of art and all mankind. when i tell riff-raff that he's doing the 'unnecessarily profound' thing i grin really hard. IM GONNA BE THE FIRST NON-RUSSIAN COSMONAUT AND IM NEVER GOING TO DIE

and of course i keep thinking about Alice and when our paths will meet again, because they will. i feel strongly about that too, and i don't doubt it for a second. sometimes it's sad to think that nothing will ever happen there, other times it's melancholy but 'okay' to accept that maybe she's finally found someone, and it makes me gleeful to think that she just made another mistake and will realize it with time and also realize THAT I AM THE ONLY~~*~*~ AHAHAHAH. yeah i wish that relationship ill, as much as i want to be all ghandi about shit, i still can't help that. it'll be a while before i can, i never doubted that. keep on truckin. i had a dream about her 5-years-too-late clone and it was oneo f the most pleasant dreams i've ever had. i woke up feeling good as hell. all we did was talk